About
Dr. Susan Schulman

A little girl's forever wish

I closed my eyes and blew out the candles and wished with all my might:

"I wish that Mummy and Daddy will be proud of me."

It was the same wish every year and it's typical of children of  holocaust survivors.. Are we ever good enough?

Over the years I've learned that many of us share personality traits shaped by that legacy. That discovery bought self-acceptance and a sense of belonging. You realize you're not as different as you once thought. 

It took me too long to learn that lesson. My hope is that this website, fayeschulman.com, will help you reach similar insights much sooner.

This was a good thing to discover. Because, with this discovery comes a self-acceptance. And it enables a more meaningful connection with others. In other words, you're not as weird and different as you thought. It took me way too many years to discover this. This site will help you gain some insight much sooner, in a much shorter time than it took me.

I dared to announce

"I'm thinking of creating a website about my mother," I dared to announce to only a few acquaintances.

What do you think? Should go for it?"

I was really asking for encouragement but I was too timid to admit that. Wouldn't you think they'd give some encouragement? Nope. Almost everyone told me no!

Their advice was meant to be
    for my own good

At least, I like to think so.
They told me, it's likely to be a dead-end project. It's too much work. I'm too old. Really? Does that sound like it's for my own good? Last thing I need is to be reminded of my age!

Or maybe they thought it would become too emotional for me.

They were sure right about that! I've almost quit several times already before even beginning. Building this website about my mother Faye Schulman has opened a flood of feelings, memories, ups and downs, passions.

But I read about successful authors who kept writing in spite of so many rejections. And so, in the face of all the negative advice, and without the encouragement which I craved, I plunged in anyway with this website.

My readings led me through a winding path of links from one site to another,  to more research than I knew existed.
Perhaps, it was more history than I even wanted to know about. But I couldn't stop.

And then, I stopped.

My mom passed away about 5 years ago in the year 2021.. It wasn't unexpected, at her age, but it seemed to change everything. After such a loss, or after any major life event, you change. 

I've become more introspective - if that's even possible. My children don't need me in the same way. And every memory about my childhood and about my mother brings a new layer of understanding.

Each memory
       brought new understanding

Each memory about my childhood and about my mother's personality turned out to be a new understanding about how she became the mother she was.

It's understandable that our mother-daughter relationship struggles were typical of any family where the parents come from a different culture. If you have immigrant parents, you know this. The rules and restrictions and way of life in the country of origin are so different from Canada and from the U.S.

But now I realize there's another layer. Our family dynamics is not just about being immigrants. We were Jewish holocaust survivors. That difference shapes everything.

I can no longer allow myself the comfort of remaining uninvolved.

Want to know a bit more personal stuff?

Regardless of where my parents grew up, my Homeland is Toronto, Canada -- diversity at its best. I love Toronto.

Why do I
     analyze everything to death?

It's because I'm a retired Medical Doctor and Psychotherapist but please don't hold that against me.

What keeps me young?

I love to dance. While I was growing up, my parents told me that dancing was frivolous and therefore rather a waste of time. Recently I discovered that my mother had also loved to dance. She even won a local dance contest as a young teenager! But after the war, she felt that dancing was a pleasure she mustn't allow herself.

My best asset

First, consider your own best assets. Whatever they are, add an ability to laugh -- especially at yourself.

My most valuable asset is my sense of humour. That has certainly helped as I rediscovered my heritage. And it will definitely help as I continue to write this tribute to my mom Faye Schulman, and to the spirit of survival and connection she represents.